
Over a decade ago, I eagerly seized the opportunity to lead a company, fueled by the conviction that I could improve the company and the world. We succeeded tremendously in numbers, people development, processes, and more. But, as I focused on developing others within the corporation, I unknowingly began to decompose myself.
I’ve often been asked what it is like to run a company. How do you deal with so many people and problems? My response has always been that it takes dedication, passion, and staying true to your values. In a previous blog, we discussed values as our beliefs, our north star. However, the reality can be more complex than that.
I’ve always been deeply committed to unwavering love for my partner, now my wife, and dedicated to my job. Throughout my career, I have consistently pursued happiness, recognizing the significant portion of our lives that we dedicate to it. Initially, I liked my job, but gradually, things changed, and I found myself losing that passion, as I was nearly not doing the things I wanted anymore. Furthermore, I lost track of time, working endlessly; as a former colleague aptly remarked, “You were 48/7, not 24/7.” Although he was right, I couldn’t fully grasp it while running the company at full throttle. I firmly believed that I had to complete every task, maintain non-stop productivity, and aim for perfection. This pursuit of flawless became an adrenaline rush, that controlled me for a whole decade.
Amidst this drive, I genuinely believed I was balancing my personal and professional life well. I saw it as a blend because my mind remained preoccupied with work throughout the day. However, what I perceived as a mix was, in fact, a mix-up – or rather, a mess-up. During that time, several important events occurred in my life. Instead of fully expressing my emotions and taking the necessary time, I chose to suppress my feelings and became trapped in the pressure to produce results.
Several times, I was driving on a business trip with a stone in my stomach. At some point, I stopped feeling like myself and my loved ones noticed the same. I lost my happiness and direction in life. My body started showing signs of distress, but I ignored them. My wife tried to make me see how much I had changed, but I wasn’t ready to accept it. Then, one day, everything fell apart, and I lost myself and the trust of my loved ones. Even though I was physically present, I wasn’t truly there mentally. My mind was consumed with problems, issues, and solutions.
CEO journeys are often tales of financial success, company achievements, and accolades. People see the outside face and think how good those guys are doing, living an excellent life, sitting in the office, or going on business trips. Rarely do we hear stories of personal struggles and decomposition on this journey, where one is left with nothing, not even themselves. I lost my sparkle, inner drive, and motivation and even risked losing the person who loved me most.
Mental health and genuine work-life balance still elude many corporate environments. Companies may boast about providing benefits and support for their employees, but often, it’s merely a facade for public relations purposes. They are often subject to internal pressures, mainly from mid-level managers in the organization promoting outdated notions of loyalty, where employees are expected to spend long hours in the office, forsaking essential moments with their families. The reasons behind this mindset are complex and can go against the desired values of top leadership. To truly address these issues, organizations need to foster open communication and discussions on mental health and work-life balance. And get rid of old suffocating mindsets within companies.
The new generations have different values. They prioritize independence, flexibility, and quality time with their loved ones. So, it’s crucial to reflect on your organization and ask yourself: How is it there?
It’s important to pause and check in with yourself first. How are you feeling? And how about your partner and loved ones? Do you make an effort to be fully present when they need you?
Being truthful with yourself is crucial and challenging. If someone who cares about you shows you your flaws, don’t avoid it. Instead, appreciate their honesty. They’re not trying to harm you but to help you. This can be the beginning of a new journey, and it’s your decision to take the first step. If you need assistance, reach out to us without hesitation.